Monday, January 19, 2009

Dear Facebook: Oh no you didn't!

Facebook likes to recommend friends for people, as anyone who subscribes to the social networking site knows. It also likes to rub old relationships, and old friendships, in our face. As well-intentioned as Facebook is, it just has no idea of the reasons why I'm not friends with Leah T.

To be honest, neither do I, really.

We were best friends in grades nine and ten. We were enrolled in nearly all the same classes, and we were both pretty smart and fairly shy, which was probably why we were drawn together. We didn't drink. We had sleepovers. We watched Much Music, back when it was all about the music and less about the reality programming. She lived down the road from my great aunt and uncle. We shared lunch hours and a locker. We went to dances together to gush over boys we were crushing on and bop awkwardly while boys asked us to dance, or we got up the nerve to ask them.

Somewhere along the lines, I got a bit more outgoing and picked up friends in a different crowd through work and she found more smart, shy people in art class. No big deal. We were still best friends, and nothing could change that, right? That's what I thought, until the day a boy came between us.

No, no, it wasn't like that. It wasn't necessarily the boy that came between us per se, it was more our attitudes toward boys. I was of the opinion that boys were lame and didn't pick up on subtle hints that you were into them, and she was of the opinion that letting a boy know that you liked him would result in a fate worse than death. She had a thing for this cute blond boy in our grade, and wouldn't shut up about him. After a while, I got sick of the whining about how he never took an interest in her and so I did the good best friend thing, I chatted him up casually to see if he was interested.

A mutual friend had overheard me and put two and two together, and went to ask Leah if she was into him. And that was the last day that Leah talked to me. I explained myself, and neither of us ever did find out if he was into her or not, but she never forgave me. They remained friends, but we didn't. I was heartbroken. I was also outraged. She always had such similar advice to boys that I was into, telling me to put myself out there and whatnot, and not only was she afraid to do the same but she was willing to end our friendship because of it? Ridiculous. She moved her stuff out of the locker, and after a while I quit trying to talk to her.

Facebook, I don't want to be friends with Leah T., as interested as I am to find out where she is and what she's done with her life, I'm pretty certain she's still not over it. Thanks for trying, anyway.

This post is part of my new feature "Monday Memories".


Sarah said...

Pfft. For the record, I do not want to be friends with Leah T either.

Carmen said...

I have my very own Leah T. - her name is Cindy S. and really... I wish Facebook would stop trying to make us friends again. It just ain't gonna happen!

rachel elizabeth said...

facebook can be quite the asshole sometimes. and you're wayyy cooler than miss leah t. for real. xo

Elle Bee said...

Thank you ladies, you are all so sweet.

brookem said...

i hear ya. i dont really give a flying rats ass what my junior college roommate who was a total jerk is having for BREAKFAST or that i should be friends with her. no. no thank you fb.

Kyla Bea said...

Oh I hate the friend suggestions for this very reason - and the worst is that when I bulk delete all their suggestions they still end up showing up after a couple weeks!

Their are some people I'm not in touch with for a reason.

Come on facebook. It's like you and Myspace. What's so hard to understand?

HBee said...

*sigh* I totally understand. I avoid lots o' people on facebook and have even pushed the "do no show this friend recommendation anymore" (like EVER).

Also, like the new feature 'Monday Memories' - cute idea!

Elle Bee said...

I like Kyla's "It's like you and MySpace!" comment. Cute. The consensus is totally "Dear Facebook, just don't".

Kali said...

I also have a Leah T, albeit a rather more backstabbing version. Facebook tried to nudge me into adding her, and to that I say, with all due respect, fuck you facebook.

Hillary said...

My Leah T is Lindsay D and she is the current girlfriend of my (horrid!) ex-boyfriend. Why, Facebook? Why?

Anonymous said...

Great post! I can identify on many levels about this, as this has happened between a 'friend' and I. Once in a while I see her around Facebook, but have come to not give it a second thought.

And, I love the feature 'Monday Memories'. I look forward to it :)

Akirah said...

Wow. I totally have a Leah T., only my Leah T. is Rosie V. She hated me because I was voted senior chorus president and she wasn't. Facebook reminds me of her existence from time to time and some days I'm tempted to request. But then I remember the snarl she gave me when I went to a party she was at and I realize it's just not worth it.

Mermanda said...

I had friends that gave up on our friendship for similarly dumb reasons. It's still hard to let go... I try to use the social networking crap to see what they are up to and remain cordial, but they are completely disinterested. It is amazing how that high school pain can follow you for years (and years).

Anonymous said...

I bet Leah T and Cindy S are facebook friends.

Anonymous said...

cool post!

There are a lot of Facebook related posts going around at the moment, I will link your post to the one in my drafts... Hopefully that will come out at some point next month. :)

ÄsK AliCë said...

Yeah, I have a Leah T. only her name is Jennifer G.

Anyone else notice that all these people's last name letters rhyme?

Leah T
Lindsay D
Rosie V
Jennifer G

Well except for Cindy S.

I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say here