Thursday, May 28, 2009


We discuss them all the time. Talk about how they're too big or too small. Envy the girls with bigger ones, or the girls who don't have to wear a bra with cute tops. We have friends who fall asleep after a rough night on our cushy chest pillows. We drunkenly stumble towards our friends with hands outreached, we do (free) tequila shots from the cleavage, wear shirts that show them off to reel in the boys. Hook. Line. And Sinker. They nourish children, provide a soft resting place for weary heads, and prevent some of us from being very good at running. Our breasts are something that we've become attached to (pardon the pun). We get used to training bras, and boys drooling over them. We say prayers or embrace silly exercise routines to make them larger (or to get them to stop growing). We've become accustomed to our bodies and how to work them. The thought of not having them, or not having all of them, is just reality-shaking.

I'm sending my thoughts and prayers to Aunt J.
I walk by this boarded-up window every morning on my way to work. There seems to have been a movement in the city to cover up these construction-site boards with interesting art. I love it. The thought that people put in to make something so blah more exciting lights up my day even more than the sunny days in the weather forecast.

Almost even more exciting is the fact that I remembered to use my slacks (holy old woman word!) as a grey card to meter the light in this shot. Accurate colours, what.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

My mind is officially blown

What are you up to tonight?

I have to go to Leduc to get eyelashes curled.

You can't do that by yourself?
What a princess.

i'm so not like that

You have a personal eyelash curler!
I do too, but it fits in my hand and I always forget to use it.

but i like to get them tinted and permed in the summer (and when on vacation) so i don't have to worry about brining/wearing makeup


my friend does it for me
oh i should not have told you

Monday, May 25, 2009

I may or may not need a vacation. Monday has been painful, part of which is likely due to the fact that my legs kind of want to fall off. Apparently dancing two laps around the track at Relay for Life takes as much out of you as walking all night. That, combined with a complete lack of sleep, have me thrown off my game today. But hey, we raised $5,890 for cancer research, support for patients and their caregivers, and other programs. Not too bad.

Friday, May 22, 2009

"It is never too late--
in fiction or in life--
to revise."
Nancy Thayer

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Things that make me happy II

  1. The baby sister. I love the whole "I have to sleep, but I'll crawl into bed with you and chat for a bit" thing. Especially when it turns into a full out sleepover with hours of talking.
  2. The baby sister. Texting me about meeting up for an impromtu picnic at lunch since she was at a course nearby. Even though the concrete bench made my bum cold, my heart was just overflowing with warmth and happiness (cheesy, I know).
  3. The baby sister. Making me dinner last night before photo class and packing me lunch this morning.
  4. The Boy. Booking plane tickets home for Christmas. About half the price they'd be if we waited a couple more months. I'm so excited.
  5. The Boy. For putting up with me spending all of my time with the baby sister and talking about her all of the time. The thought of only 2.5 months until being with him becomes my default setting.
  6. Raising over $500 for Relay for Life! If you still want to sponsor, see the sidebar.
  7. My soccer team, the Sweaty Balls. Being undefeated for the first time ever (for longer than one game anyway). The improvement of how we play together over the past three years makes me ridiculously happy... and it makes Thursday nights something to look forward to.

Friday, May 15, 2009

“Maybe we’re not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we’re thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we’re thankful for the things we’ll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.” Grey's Anatomy

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy fruit

A lot of our time during summers when we were younger was spent among the rows and rows of strawberries and peas in the giant garden on the farm. This lovely gift from the lovely Andrea took me back to those days... sitting in the dirt on the quest for the most perfectly ripe strawberry. I shall cuddle this little glass jar and whisper soothing words to this little green plant, in the hopes that someday it will provide me with even one deliciously juicy morsel.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Pretty in pink

I'm thankful for good friends. For a boss who is so supportive of me and my future. For a co-worker who surprised me with these lovely pink tulips on Thursday afternoon, when I was having a bad day. For the most fabulous boyfriend, who listens to my fears, my worries, my hopes, my desperation and quietly says, "we'll find a way".

The weekend was busy enough. Traveling from downtown to the northeast end and back. Rock Band. Walks and talks with ma petite soeur. Pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream. Catching up on Grey's Anatomy. A barbeque with the baby club, thankful to have the sister who is also not pregnant. Games. Phone calls to mommies. Painted nails. Reading until 10 p.m. on the balcony with a glass of wine. Snuggled up to the one who makes me happiest at the end of the day.

Kitty and I have had such different experiences with the mothership, and I must admit, sometimes I am envious of what they have. I'm envious of the fact that I've been gone for seven years without so much as a visit, but Kitty moves here for the summer and the momma automatically claims this is the summer she'll come. The momma cries because she can no longer call up Kitty and go for dinner, or shopping, or whatever and part of me wishes that she felt that way for me. I wish that she could see me for who I am and be proud of that. Not the money, or the good job, but me. Truth be told, our relationship may just be better from a distance. She's the one person in the world who has the ability to tear down in minutes all the confidence I've taken years to build.

It doesn't matter that I used to be the only one to remember Mother's Day presents, or that I still take a lead role in organizing the celebration of her. It doesn't matter that she doesn't agree with my education, but that I will always use it to benefit her when she needs my help. I hear some of the things she says about me, and they break my heart. I feel like this summer I need to prove to Kitty that I'm not that person.

I wish she could just love me like I love her.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

The one in which I bribe you

I've had a bad day. A day where I cried at work. Which is always awesome.

You know what would make me feel better?

If you pledged me for the Canadian Cancer Society's Relay for Life. There's a link on the bar over there at the right-hand side of this page. Or, you can click here.

Any little bit helps, and if you pledge me ANYTHING, I will send you something lovely in the mail. Obviously, the more you pledge, the better it will be (homemade cookies anyone?).

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


It makes me happy to have a reason to watch the clock. The excitement of 4:30 p.m. The take-off for the elevator, the foot tapping impatiently, the quick walk outside to the sunshine and the little one. Even if it rains, even though I am painfully ill still, and even though the only mission is grocery shopping, the anticipation of really getting to know the baby sister is exciting.

Even though we talk via the Internet, and gab on the phone, it feels like I've missed out on a lot not actually being there since she was fourteen.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Best friends 4 evah

I spent the weekend drinking too much champagne in the afternoon, eating appetizers for supper, imbibing in barley and hops, frolicking in the sunshine, and hanging out with two of my favourite people in the universe. The Boy sent me an email this morning that said, "It's good to remember why your best friends are your best friends." This weekend definitely served as a fabulous reminder.

They are two of the only people I can find to listen to country music with me. The only two people would would squeal and jump around with glee to find out that the Road Hammers were opening for Montgomery Gentry after a lot of detective work to find out who the opening act was. Dancing around the house. Watching bad teen movies. Being happy, and positive, and free of eye-rolling. Remembering good times and creating new memories. Meeting each other for the first time and becoming fast friends themselves.

Even though I have no voice, and have spent the weekend trying to push away the plague that has been wracking my body, this was the best weekend that I have had in a very long time. It was exactly what I needed.

I mentioned to the Boy a little while ago that I feel like I'm falling into too much negativity. I'm finding myself becoming an eye-roller. A cynic. A bit of cynicism is good, but it's gotten to a bad place. I made a vow to surround myself with positive forces to balance out my proclivity to the negative, and this weekend was the best thing that ever could have happened. I feel refreshed.

It's good to remember why your best friends are your best friends.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Best. Week. Ever.

I don't have any friends (other than my sisters) who I have had in my life forever. I went to highschool with two of my best girls, but I don't have the same stories as other people. We became friends when we were eight when we had sleepovers and step on (and broke) each other's glasses.

I met Erin in university. She lived three rooms down from me in residence (ah, good old Saugeen-Maitland). Though my floor was pretty close and we all did fun things together, Erin and I were merely bonded by mutual friends. We didn't spend any real one-on-one time together.

It wasn't until I graduated university and began my post-grad that we actually hung out alone. We were the only people from our crew in London that summer. We were both in relationships that were falling apart. We sipped champagne from individual-sized bottles and frolicked down the street to Richmond Row. We always, without fail, ran into the "breakup kitty" on the walk home from the bar and stopped to sit on the sidewalk and pet him (or her). It was after the first breakup kitty experience that Erin and I decided she needed to break up with her toxic boyfriend. Hence the name.

We supported each other. We laughed when my ex-boyfriend stopped by my house to take my vibrator, forgetting his big television in the process. We drank and had drunken rants about how much boys sucked. We sat on the patio at the Barking Frog in our newly-single state, wondering how to go about dating again. No doubt scaring off all boys within a mile radius.

We did a lot of tequila shots. We flirted and danced. We went home with each other to spoon. I call little spoon! I left her screaming about how she was doing to die (between her yelling for me to order pizza with mushrooms!) while I frantically wrote papers for my PR class, which were due the next day.

For my birthday, we created "Yard Yahtzee" and made passersby blow on our giant, misshapen dice for luck. We drank cosmos and laid on the front lawn. It was one of the greatest summers of my life, regardless of the break up and the hardest schooling I've ever done, and working three jobs.

Though she moved to Ottawa, and I moved to Edmonton, she's still one of the closest people in my life. She's the only person to ever have me cry happy tears. We cry when we see each other in the airport, but not when we're separating... it's strange, I'll admit.

There have been a lot of emails and drunken phone calls, but I'm happy that she's here now for a legitimate visit. I'm so excited to step outside to meet her for lunch, frolick through the city (past the bull she fell off of the last time she was here... when a kind stranger boy carried her to our door while I soothed her bleeding knee) and enjoy the sunshine.

Tomorrow the littlest sister, Kaye, moves to Alberta for four months. This will be the longest amount of time I've lived with any member of my family for approximately seven years. I could not be more excited.

Best. Week. Ever.