This is totally how the Boy works.

[via XKCD]

Thanks to the lovely ShopGirl for sharing this site. Hours of endless entertainment, let me tell you.

You make my dreams (come true)

[David Perez Facorro via the Photographic Dictionary]

Love [luhv]
-noun
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend.
3. a sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
-verb (used with object)
5. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
6. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).


I'm getting rather pathetic, cupcakes. The Boy went to Saskatchewan for the fourth week in a row (alone this time), and I missed him a ridiculous amount. The joy that raged through me when I got his "I'm coming home!" text message on Wednesday morning was off the charts.

Being without him though, did give me time to assess things. It's also gave me time to feel like I live at our place. Having to rely on buses to get around our fine city and find our way to the north end when it'd be so much easier to hang out at the old pad is a big part of that. Oh downtown, why do you have to be so appealing?

Back on point. It gave me time to talk to an old friend. A friend who really should not be my friend. We had our own messed up love story back in the day. Out of control emotions made us do things like send lyrics to each other and cry via webcam because we just couldn't be together. He was a boy who had been broken by previous relationships, a self-proclaimed robot. I was a girl (and still am the girl) who always wears her heart on her sleeve. I was sunshine and rainbows and he was a giant storm cloud. There was a long period of time where I didn't talk to him because he decided to date our mutual friend and I couldn't handle it (really, I told him he couldn't wax poetic to me and be with her -- it wasn't fair to anyone). We had a big discussion when he finally contacted me to say that he couldn't handle it anymore, he needed me in his life in some way because I'm just so fabulous (which is true). We've been friends ever since.

Back in the day, when I got out of a passionless, robotic, comfortable relationship because of some of the conversations we had, I thought that what we had was love. What we had was different, and I'd never felt that way before. It was both incredible and terrible. Everything was so emotionally-fueled it created some sappy feel-good moments and some major heartbreak. It was a rollercoaster.

It's not like that now. Love, I mean. The more days pass, the more confident I am that even though I'm kind of an l-word slut, the Boy is the only boy I've ever truly loved in a romantic way. No one has ever made me feel the way he makes me feel. He's someone I can tell all of my secrets to, someone who loves me unconditionally but isn't afraid to speak up if he thinks I'm doing something out of character, and someone who supports me in all my crazy endeavours (school, random committees, etc.). He's someone I miss an unbelievable amount when he's gone, partially because of the empty bed and partially because when anything good or bad happens, he's the one I babble on to about it. I'm attracted to him in every way, not just physically but mentally.

My friend told me about his own long-term relationship, and I feel bad for him that he hasn't found what I found. I feel bad that through all the conversations we've had about relationships and love, that he feels like he has to settle. His lady is lovely, but clearly not the lady for him. It reminds me of my own passionless, comfortable ex-relationship. The one he talked me out of, for the sake of my own happiness.

You deserve more, he used to say. I don't know how to get it through his thick skull that he deserves more too.

Dear baby, do your momma a favour and come out now

I'm waiting to hear from my lovely friend Robyn about the status of her uterus. There's a little girl in there just chilling out, taking her sweet time. Fashionably late, already.

Robyn and I were interns together. We got together on the regular for drinks and dish sessions. I feel so honoured to have gotten to share in Robyn's life... the excitement of her engagement, living vicariously through her destination wedding photos and planning, and now seeing her belly -- ridiculously big for her tiny frame. She's going to be such an amazing, amazing mother.

I look back on the first year I was here, and one of those great moments was rounding up a few people to join me in the Canadian Cancer Society's Relay for Life. Robyn and I spent much of the night bundled in blankets walking around the track talking about anything and everything.

There were four of us interns. Two are now engaged to be married, Robyn is all married and mamalicious, and me, I'm going to be a masters student (apparently I do not succumb to peer pressure).

Dear baby,
Please come out so your momma can get back to eating and not taking her own blood. Because it's gross. And because there are many people who'd like to see your pretty little face.
xoxo



Update:

Welcome to the world Juliana!

Farewell but not goodbye

Watching me finish up the ends, he comments on how far it's come.

We've been through a lot together. I say, as I stroke it softly. It kept me awake in the mountains, went with me on trips to Saskatchewan. And bad times too, you know....

Are you sure you wouldn't rather keep it?

It's the prairies, the mountains.... it's important that she has it.

The changes in the tension of the stitches show what I've been through. They show the stress, the hurt, the aching of my first car accident. The parental visit three years in the making. They show the relaxation of the mountains, and road trips, as I stitched through my awe. The ease I felt as I sang along to 80s tunes on the way to Cypress Hills and Saskatoon.

The stitches have suffered and celebrated through the highs and lows of summer across the prairies. They'll provide warmth through the east coast winter. And hopefully, they'll serve as a reminder of the incredible friendship that I've been so blessed to have.

[stolen from Andrea]

Things that make me happy IV

[via flickr]

1. When B picks me up from the LRT station, we make kissy faces at each other before I even get to the car.
2. This weekend is the final glorious girly weekend with Kitty before she returns home to Ontario.
3. There will be girly drinks on the patio.
4. And farmer's markets galore.
5. The cheap fruits and veggie market near our house.
6. Finally not feeling weird calling it our house.
7. Being the boss at work for five out of the next ten weeks.
8. School! It's a bit off, but getting closer. I'm so excited.
9. Talking with the girls at work about needing to get together to play lame nerd games, like the Canadian Trivia board game I got for Christmas.
10. The anticipation of vacation.