victorious

[via lizzybethness on Flickr]

I feel six years old with loose leaf papers held tight in my hand, and knobby knees banging into one another as I sprint from the bus up the lane to the house. Out of breath from all that hard work, I merely raise my paper-filled fist in victory.

One small victory mind you, but it is my first A+ in graduate school. Days like this one remind me that the hundreds of pages I read each week and the thousands of words I type in response will all be worth it. I only have to soldier through until that stack of papers in my tiny fist is replaced with that one big sheet of paper in November 2011.

Oh, I love technology...

This weekend, the dishes were done in a timely manner, loads of laundry were completed, sheets changed, clothes put away. Obviously there's something wrong here. Oh right, procrastination is my best friend.

I spent much time huddled over articles and texts reading about computer-mediated communication and the command line, thanking my lucky stars I was born into a world where I don't have to write out notebooks full of code. This class is intense, but its intensity actually ensures that students read all of the materials that are piled high into our outreached, trembling arms. If you don't read and understand the material enough to write thousands of words about it, you'll probably cry yourself to sleep. Then, you'll fail.

In "In the beginning was the command line," Neal Stephensen, pompous fellow that he is, mentions that in the past writers have kept a skull on their desk as they write to remind them of their own mortality. He suggests that something should also serve as a reminder that technology, and how we interact with it now, may also be fleeting. I was reminded of this as the sad orange light blinked on our wireless router to show us that the modem wasn't allowing us to access the Internet. "HOW CAN THEY DO THIS TO US!" I cried out, on the verge of tears. "If I can't access the program for our very web-reliant course, I can't submit my essay and I will FAIL!" Drama.

Thankfully, B is more patient than I. After unplugging the modem for hours at a time (to punish it for what it has done?), we were finally given the green light. Literally. I'm thankful that I grew up with graphic user interfaces and operating systems. I remember trying to run things through DOS on our first home computer, and that was frustrating enough -- no way would I ever have the patience for the command line.

It's interesting to read about the humble beginnings of Netville. To think that once, this genius group of individuals was sheltered by the US military and academic institutions to share knowledge on the cutting-edge of technology as homeland security. When interest in the Internet grew, the values of technological advancement and sharing were overtaken by society's desire for entertainment and fluff. Oh, and marketing.

On another note: I started subscribing to This American Life's podcasts this weekend, and the National with Peter Mansbridge. I am now one happy little transit rider.

Being Canadian, it didn't cross my mind that yesterday was a holiday for our American neighbours. Not until this email from my favourite professor hit my inbox. As I shared his story with you, I thought I'd also send these quotes your way.

Since I heard kind words from many of you upon our discussion of the contribution of the Rev. Martin Luther Kind, Jr., to communication and the world, I thought it might be acceptable to send you a greeting on this day that in the United States officially honors him.

I hope this day finds you well and dedicated. Here are a few thoughts from Dr. King.

"I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality.... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant."
--Martin Luther King Jr., Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech, Dec. 10, 1964

"We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools."
--Martin Luther King Jr.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
--Martin Luther King Jr.

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends."
--Martin Luther King Jr.

"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance andconscientious stupidity."
--Martin Luther King Jr.

Home for the holidays

It still doesn't seem much like Christmas, even though I am going home in two sleeps.

Christmas shopping this year seems haphazard, not the usual exciting adventure to find the perfect presents for people. Instead of the desire to trim the tree, I've had the desire to read journal articles. Instead of baking Christmas treats to send out to friends across the country, I've been wishing I could write faster and go to conferences in Montreal, London (U.K) and San Francisco. Instead of watching Christmas movies, I've been thinking about Marshall McLuhan's theories. I'm a bit overwhelmed. I know the essay I submitted the other day wasn't my best, but I just didn't care anymore. The thought of submitting three more essays by the middle of January, combined with travel to Ontario and Saskatchewan for the next two weeks, is terrifying. How am I ever going to get everything done?

Instead of doing schoolwork most evenings, I've been happily curled up with the Boy on the couch or out with my wonderful girlfriends eating brie and drinking vanilla apple mojitos. Ignorance is bliss, they say. Maybe a bit of Baileys in my coffee (or some eggnog) would bring some Christmas cheer?

Home Sweet... oh shit.

On Friday afternoon the many Calgarians and Edmontonians in our PCOM crew were huddled over our laptops ferverently checking and rechecking our flights.

"I heard all flights to Calgary were cancelled."
"You're okay going in, but no planes are leaving!"
"We're only delayed two hours; how long is your wait?"

We took long walks in the sunshine, soaking in the lush greenery, knowing that we were coming back to white. Nearly 20 cm of it. Less than a week later, the conversation is more like this:

"Want to run to Starbucks?"
"What's it like outside?"
"Only -14!"
"Oh God -- so warm! I'm in!"

So warm. At -14. That's what four days of -20 to -30 gets us.

It's hard to read and even think about writing four major essays when at the end of the day I just want to hurry home, start up the fireplace, and watch Dexter with B.

On why I love being a student

My communication theory professor is old. Probably 70. He is the sweetest man in the world and I want him to be my Grandpa. Today was our last class with him during this residency, though we'll be communicating with him during distance studies. It nearly broke my heart.

He is a man who knows theorists by their first names and silly qualities. "I know in pictures that this man never smiles, but he's hilarious," he'll say. "So-and-so doesn't really wear sunglasses all of the time, though I can see how you think he does." He told us his fanboy story about being recognized by one of his favourite theorists after writing his first book. He shared jokes and comics with us every day to make lectures more interesting.

But today he shared so much more. He told us about his experience attending Martin Luther King Jr.'s famous 1963 "I have a dream" speech. He told us about how exhausting the rallies were all day in the sun. He told us about how the air just changed and the audience was buzzing when Dr. King started talking. He choked back tears as he told us about the tall African-American man beside him who placed his sign on the ground, bent over it and "wept like a baby".

He told us about how he'd never told this story when he was teaching at Berkley or the University of Southern California. He told us that until teaching here, at Royal Roads, he never realized just how important that experience was to communications. His eyes were full of tears as he told us about his wife's cancer and the fact that any group he teaches could be his last.

We were blessed today. We have been blessed to know this incredible man. This man could be my grandparent but his world view is blown so wide open. He was a young, white man working to end racism in America. He was a young man who experienced a life-changing event that he still can't talk about without tears.

We gave him a standing ovation and he patted my shoulder as he passed by me. He gave Teresa and I hugs after class while telling us how much he appreciates his students, and how he hopes that even some of the knowledge he's gained in his life will help us through ours.

Today, I experienced the single greatest event of my academic career.

Get low, low, low, low, low, low, low

It only took a week and a half before there was a dance party.

A stressful day, fueled by APA style, caused our pub night to get interesting. It was one of those built-in stress relievers (and when you have 3 papers due, it's important to remember to be social), but the administration didn't realize just how much we needed it. Teresa and I walked home under the protection of our umbrellas, held arms, and jumped into the biggest puddle we could find. Laughter ensued. When we arrived back to residence, there was the faintest murmur of conversation coming from the lounge.

We opened the door to a few people drinking wine. As more people came home from the pub, we split up to our rooms to grab more wine and throw on our pajamas. One of the ladies brought her iPod dock, glasses of wine were poured and shared, and it became a full-fledged dance party. Bonds were cemented, love was declared, and security showed up to tell us they "Didn't see anything".

Two weeks in and it's hard to believe that there are only 6 days left. We won't be together (at least most of us) until next October. I'll miss the conversations about commas, grammar and APA style. I'll miss being told by other people how smart I am, especially after the dreamy writing professor made the class applaud me for knowing complex parts of speech. When surrounded by all of these intelligent people, it is easy to think that you're not worthy or special. Sometimes we all need to be reminded.

Even if it takes a dance party.

Castles and gardens and peacocks, oh my!

I took a break to walk around yesterday while it wasn't raining. I felt like I was walking around in the Secret Garden. They actually have walled gardens; there was so much to see I decided to leave them until next time. When I went to Western, I thought no campus could compare. However, Royal Roads is on a National Historic site.

See more on Flickr

I'm kind of a nerd

I've learned that it's amazing in Victoria when the sun is shining and the rain stops; even if it's only for a few hours. I worry that I may literally wear my umbrella out.

I've learned about relationships. I've learned that being stuck in dorms with 50 people and a lot of wine will make you very close, very fast. I've learned that I use too many commas (really, I already knew that). I'm attempting to make semi-colons my friend.

I've learned that I would rather talk about grammar than theory. Being in a class with a professor who is passionate about grammar makes me very excited about sentence structure. I've learned that I don't care for APA style. I've learned that I know parts of speech better than most people in my class (thank you, pop quiz!).

I've learned that it's normal to sit in the check out line of the grocery store, looking through magazines to find the one with the best advertisements.

I didn't get to talk to my boyfriend today and it nearly killed me.

I went to eat sushi with two darling boys; one of which is gay, the other has been happily married for ten years. I drank wine and I studied. It feels like we've been on campus for weeks. There were six peacocks frolicking around the picnic tables and the rain let up for nearly a full day.

I love learning. I'm questioning my idea for a research paper only in that I think I may need to do a thesis instead. I love talking about communications and things we've done at work so they show a positive example to others. I love that my fabulous colleague (and boss) has so well prepared me for anything I could encounter here.

I get less sleep than I do back home. I go to bed hours later and wake up earlier.

I often find myself bringing those I love into my conversations. "Oh yes, the drive through Brooks is the smelliest drive ever. We do it whenever we drive to my boyfriend's parent's place in Cypress Hills."

I love school, but I didn't get to talk to my boyfriend today and it nearly killed me.

New beginnings

I'm sitting in a dorm room with a light that is just not bright enough.

I was thankful to meet a fellow Edmontonian waiting in the line for a taxi to campus, it makes me feel less badly about ignoring the voices outside my door. I'd feel weird just opening it to join in the conversation. I'm terrified of new people -- they make me nervous.

I'm looking ahead to three weeks of school, ensuring my readings are done for tomorrow's class (don't want to get behind already), and thinking of the things I didn't bring and should have -- my CP style book, the alarm clock I've had since I was eight years old, and some more courage (perhaps in the form of wine). Somebody call the Wizard.

I have a date for breakfast, and I'll sleep cuddled up to the Boy's pillow.

These next three weeks may very well kill me.