Things that make me happy III

1. My awesome coworker and friend, who ran off with me at lunch yesterday for a gin and tonic/vent session. Being the boss can be stressful, but a good friend like her makes it okay.
2. The Boy, Kitty, cribbage and wine on the balcony. Even though I didn't win.
3. Homemade frappes/iced capps and the lovely Kitty. So delicious. I love going home to her and delicious cold coffee-like beverages over chit-chat and Sex and the City.
4. The Boy's parents are coming up tomorrow and they're staying for a week. His lovely parents are going to help paint the house among other things. I hate painting so much. They are also bringing some of their homemade wine. And they are just all-around lovely people.
5. Soccer.
6. The Boy.
7. Wine.

ch-ch-ch-changes

I've been a little miserable, just in case you didn't realize this.

I'm terrible at confrontation. I hate hurting people's feelings. I light a match to burn a bridge, blow it out, and apologize to the bridge instead. My angry feelings bubble and brew until it becomes a very angry volcano.

So I'm making changes. I'm remembering the importance of surrounding yourself with positive, respectful friends who enrich your life rather than disrupt it. I'm mentally listing my limits. I'm reevaluating people and their influence. I'm stating my demands. I'm ensuring that with all the stress on the horizon, I'm taken care of first. For once, I'm choosing to satisfy my needs above others.

And it feels good.

"The beauty of the world about us is only

according to what we ourselves bring to it."

Shaker saying

I take it back

I'd rather the anger than the back stabbing and lies.

working hard to get my fill

I'm not too ashamed to admit that sometimes, when I have a bad day, I turn to Journey videos on YouTube.

I've been pulled in so many directions lately that I was beginning to feel like I was being torn in two (or more). At work, I'm wearing the hats of boss lady, writer and media star, which is surprisingly harmonious except when big boss' pregnancy hormones are raging. I'm trying to find balance between friends and the Boy, and failing miserably. I'm trying to refuel but can't, as any extra time I have is used to satisfy other commitments. I've never really done the me time thing, as any spare time I have is given to friends who make me feel guilty for spending so much time with the Boy, or with the Boy, who has finally exploded in a "but I'm your boyfriend and I'd like to see you sometimes" rage.

The little sister is a shining light in all of this, which isn't helping anyone really. When I was feeling all frustrated to tears, she simply told me to do what makes me happy and screw the rest. Her words helped me figure it out, but then when what typically made me happy became just another obligation to fulfill, she became my default. While everyone else was having a virtual tug-of-war with my emotions, she became my solitude merely because she's just happy when I'm happy.